You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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