i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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