hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
