Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
