Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
