no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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