i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
