I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
