I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
