he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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