I got chris browned last night
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
