yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
ok first of all what the fuck
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