you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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