So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
