if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
well you can't waste a boner
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Houston, we have a blender
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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