Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
