bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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