Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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