No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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