I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
love makes seman taste better
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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