i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
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The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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