Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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