Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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