So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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