not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
high people should be assigned attendants
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
