So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
