I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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