so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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