You can't motorboat a personality
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
