I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
