Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
