Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
