he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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