he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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