I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
