he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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