Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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