Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
