if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
