i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
