Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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