haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
