if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
