Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
