Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
