I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
