I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
