2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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