im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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