Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
