i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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