So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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