i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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