I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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