RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
