People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
