The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
