Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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