hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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