He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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